Cayce Lynch, attorney and senior partner at Tyson & Mendes, LLP; and Cheryl Farrell, founder of Pop-Up Storytelling for Organizations, a consultancy, met when Lynch’s firm invited Farrell to be the keynote speaker at a 2022 Women’s History Month event. Lynch recalls the Zoom meeting when colleagues at all levels heard each other’s impromptu storylines. Lynch knew the names of the individuals in the meeting, but, on that day, she learned more than just their job titles and department names. Lynch shared her story of being a mother and becoming a lawyer at the firm.
After giving birth to her second child, Lynch contacted Farrell to discuss how storytelling could create deeper connections with other mothers in the legal and insurance fields. These stories provide support to those who feel emotional conflict about doing paid work alongside mothering.
The following questions and answers emerged from Lynch and Farrell’s conversation about the power of storytelling for mothers who work in the insurance defense industry. They suggest ways to help mothers and organizations create a safe space to share their stories.
Farrell’s 2022 presentation included an example of typical networking conversations when strangers meet. Those cursory exchanges are to quickly perceive a person’s story. Name-rank-serial-number inquiries create hasty stories based on superficial attributes. The table below is an ice breaker simulation (of cursory data collection) between Farrell and Lynch:
Farrell: Our ice-breaker facts are interesting, but in sharing deeper elements of our experiences, we learned more about each other and that has made a lasting connection. Our stories are not quirky facts or tidbits. We discovered we both sought innovative solutions to be available for our children during irregular working hours and business travel. When my children were young, I travelled extensively for business and one occasion was during the 9/11 tragedy. A plane when down in Pennsylvania where our family lived at the time. In the following weeks, I arranged family video conference calls from Los Angeles at Kinko’s stores (before FaceTime existed). I needed to lay eyes on my kids during that scary time.
Are working moms who are attorneys or insurance professionals very different today than they were 20 years ago?
Lynch: The tide is shifting in the workplace for mothers. Working mothers, especially lawyers, experience many of the same challenges mothers faced 20 years ago. At the same time, two big shifts created opportunities for more women to enter, retain, and receive promotions in the legal and insurance fields.
First, the COVID-19 pandemic proved that attorneys and claims professionals can work successfully from home. Four years later, some firms continue to embrace flexibility for their team members, allowing more working mothers (and fathers) to reap the benefits of shifting fluidly between parenthood and professional responsibilities throughout the workweek. I am blessed to be one of many attorneys, including leaders, who continue to work from home. This allows me to be more present and available to my children than I would be commuting to and working from an office.
Second, more women are visible in law firm leadership than ever before (27.8%). For the first time in history, women outrank men at the associate levels in law firms (50.3%). Twenty years ago, when NALP measured representation differently, women comprised approximately 38.8% of associates and 12.3% of the partner workforce. In some ways, we are in a different era for working attorney mothers today simply because there are more of us in the workforce.
When I look around the insurance defense industry, especially within my law firm, I see mothers thriving. Yes, it is challenging to be a working mother, but the stats show we as a collective are making progress. Hearing the stories of other mothers who are also leaders in this industry gives me hope. What if sharing our stories could be expanded, institutionalized, so that we hear each other’s problem-solving strategies other than in a crisis?
Storytelling has been a powerful tool for our organization and for me personally. More women, including moms, need to hear from us. We need to share our problem-solving stories, not just our success stories. By bringing our authentic selves to work and openly sharing our stories of working motherhood – both publicly and privately – we encourage others and provide hope.
We are seeing more women in leadership roles, but more women are still stepping down and away. Are things really getting better?
Lynch: While lawyering and leading a business is a hard job, mothering is even more challenging for me. Taking on the responsibility of both roles can be daunting at times. Women lawyers recently reported more stress and burnout than men, perhaps because attorney mothers report spending only about 30 minutes a day on self-care. One study blames law firm culture as the catalyst for women attorneys, especially mothers, leaving large law firms. Nevertheless, we persist.
Early in my career, I worked long hours to learn my profession. My work spilled over into evenings and weekends, and I found it difficult to disconnect from work even in my time “off.” Even though I knew from a young age I eventually wanted to be a mother, real life demands of practicing law made me doubt my ability to have family. I was open to finding my future husband, but I questioned whether parenthood was in the cards for me.
Shortly after turning 30, before I met my husband, something shifted in me. I knew I wanted to at least try to become a mother. Seeing women succeed in their roles as mothers and leaders, as well as hearing their stories, gave me hope and the courage to pursue my calling to motherhood.
My law firm has grown tremendously since I joined 12 years ago. My first act as partner was to institutionalize paid maternity leave for every woman in our firm, for both attorneys and staff. We have reached parity of female representation in both our income and equity partnership. I see women around me, many of whom are mothers, blossoming in our blended personal and professional spheres.
Are working moms unified in their position?
Farrell: Mothers who work are not a monolithic group, but we have similar concerns. A few examples include the emotional and financial costs associated with infertility, adoption, and birthing children with disabilities impact a mother’s work life. Racial, cultural, and pay equity differences make it hard for some women to access reliable childcare and transportation. Our society’s gender-expansive nomenclature has same-sex families feeling a void of compassion. Even the term “working mother/mom” suggests motherhood and working outside the home co-exist unnaturally. Decades of mothers have shown just the opposite.
The thread that runs through motherhood experiences is the need to nurture our children while earning a living. It’s that basic. (A supportive work environment also benefits employees who care for elderly parents or have other caregiver responsibilities.) Telling our stories unites us. It lets us know we are not alone. This is where hope lives.
What is storytelling and how can women tell their story in the workplace?
Farrell: Over the last 25 years, storytelling has been popularized by live shows such as the Moth and on public radio. Storytelling is defined by communicating something personal that inspires others to feel and to think. Storytelling for organizations is a skill I developed from my work in human resources communications as well as being a storytelling performer. In the workplace, I define it as in-person stories told by members to members to enhance interaction. This effort is not oversharing or a gripe session. Neither is it gossiping or passing judgment. It is a structured communication with rules of engagement for confidentiality and safety.
By telling our stories, individuals learn that they have more in common with each other than just observed similarities. For leaders, storytelling improves group cohesiveness for greater collaboration and productivity. Neuroscience research about how the brain responds to storytelling tells us there are physiological responses that make the information conveyed memorable and relatable.
An attitude for storytelling is what I describe as a person’s willingness/desire to tell their story. Some of us may play small in telling our stories as a defense mechanism to avoid drawing attention to ourselves. It can be uncomfortable being bold in our storytelling; however, withholding our story impedes a meaningful connection.
The compelling nature of stories is helpful to employees to express the desire for career growth, work-life balance, and being a productive contributor to the organization. In my consulting work, I have seen how stories achieve these results. I hold those stories in confidence, but the results are consistent.
Storytelling can be conducted in breakout sessions at meetings, in a lunch setting, mentoring sessions, and performance reviews. One-on-one storytelling opportunities matter. The power of storytelling helps us frame our messages and makes deep and sincere personal interactions.
What role does storytelling play in continuing to advance women in legal and insurance roles?
Farrell: It’s interesting to note that women are becoming mothers later in life. In 2021, the average woman first gave birth at 27.3 years old, up from 25.6 years old in 2011. This slightly older age coincides with the typical age of passing the bar and adjusting to the rigors of being a lawyer or beginning to take on additional responsibilities in one’s career as an insurance professional. The human connection is especially needed at this time and can be created with storytelling. When you realize “you are not the only one” by hearing the stories of others, you may uncover solutions to your professional challenges.
Women, mothers, and other groups whose voices often muted in the workplace can especially benefit from knowing how to tell their story and hearing from others. We are reminded that we are more than academic credentials, race, gender, and age.
When you know your story, you know what you stand for and what you will tolerate. When you tell your story, leaders in the position to advance your career will see you as a person and not a LinkedIn profile. Folks in power who know your story are inclined to speak your name in rooms that you are not in. You may be considered for assignments because you are qualified and relatable.
When women support women, everyone wins, even those outside the group. That includes clients, male colleagues, family, and friends. Action items to consider: hire, mentor, and promote mothers and women of varying backgrounds.
Do you have any advice to women who say they can't tell their authentic story because their organization or team lacks psychological safety?
Lynch: Companies, firms, departments, and teams – we must support our working mothers. Our communication around this support – our storytelling – must also be intentional. Leaders, dare to tell your story publicly. When women leaders share their stories about navigating the challenges of being both a working professional and a mother, we are encouraged to persevere.
For women to tell their stories, organizations must create and protect psychological safety for all employees. Mothers, if you do not feel safe to tell your story at work, I encourage you to find a colleague who shares your vision. That alliance will help create a safe space for others. If it is not possible, there are law firms and companies that will welcome your story. Trust me; I know firsthand.
We deserve psychological safety. Don’t settle for less. The insurance defense industry needs our stories. We owe it to ourselves, our children, and our grandchildren to continue this shift towards greater representation and belonging through storytelling.